Do Avocados Hold The Secret To Repairing Your Water Damaged iPhone?

Today a newly formed group within the Trump administrations Space Force Scientist Consortium (SFSC) announced a major breakthrough in repairing liquid damaged electronics. "We have finally done what no other human person has done," said Elmer Gantry. "We have stumbled onto a way to magically repair the water damaged iPhone forever."

Gantry, who made his fortune planting churches across America and more recently served as the US Ambassador to North Korea, announced the "Factual Findings" on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial while skipping iPhones into the tidal basin where they would sink to the bottom to be retrieved by migrant children in paddle boats.

The SFSC report reveals that while working on a classified project with their Russian counterparts, who were trying to understand the 'Young Peoples' fascination with Avocado Toast, an intern dropped his iPhone in the toilet during a FaceTime session with family back in South Dakota. Upon returning to the top-secret lab (long rumored to be underneath the Washington Monument) the intern was distraught because the iPhone wouldn't turn on when he tried to immediately charge it using a cable he bought at the Save-A-Lot back in his hometown of Rapid City, SD.

Before heading off to the lunchroom at BLT Prime in the Trump International Hotel he inadvertently set the iPhone down in a vat of freshly cut avocados that was being used in their research. As the intern reached for his car keys he heard the faint sounds of "Runaway" by Kanye West wafting up from the recently cut but now totally brown vat of avocados. He immediately recognized the song, which he had set as his ringtone when starting work on the critical avocado toast project because he mistakenly thought the song was about avocado toast.

He had, of course, set the song to the highest possible volume level on the iPhone. As Kanye's inspirational lyrics literally rang out, "Let's have a toast for the scumbags", he quickly reached into the vat to pull out his now fully functional iPhone. He was delighted to see it was his girlfriend Maria Butina for their daily "Sexy time" call from her jail cell.

Rigorous scientific testing was done over the next day that was recently published in the Journal of Science Journalism magazine proving the fact that avocados magically repair liquid damaged iPhone's. Android phones appear to react differently to the green fruit and are now being tested with yellow fruits like banana's and plantains only after being tested on purple fruit.

Despite this promising breakthrough in avocado technology the President, upon discovering that Mexico is the largest grower of avocados, decided to put his full support behind the dry white rice method of repairing water damaged iPhone's. A day later he reversed course during a joint news conference with Tim Apple where he announced that buying a new $1,000 iPhone was the only way to repair a broken iPhone. Expert science type people confirmed the statement, since rice futures have soared to more than a thousand dollars a pound due to recent tariff increases.

The two men also announced that the iconic John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, which sits on the shores of the Potomac river, would be converted into an iPhone factory to manufacturer the new iPhone XXX. iFixit, a very close Apple partner, was allowed to test the latest addition to the iPhone family and said, "it will levitate in air but it's not waterproof." Tim Apple revealed that the "Greatest iPhone since Steve Jobs died" will retail at a family friendly $10,000 for the base model, (avocado toast sold separately).

MEANWHILE IN OTHER NEWS
Actual experts in the tech repair industry, who have worked on liquid damaged iPhone's since they were invented continue to urge people to follow a few simple, but important steps if your phone gets wet:

1) Take it out of the liquid immediately!
2) Turn it off and DO NOT CHARGE IT!
3) DO NOT Shake it, bake it, blow-dry it or put it in rice!
4) TAKE IT to a local professional tech repair shop ASAP!

AUTHORS NOTE
Trying to turn the phone on or charging it is the WORST thing you could do followed only by trying a 'home remedy' to fix it. Shaking it or trying to blow-dry it will only push the liquid deeper into the phone causing MORE damage. Putting it into RICE is a lie/fake news/internet hoax and just plain stupid -- want proof? Check out this video from Jessa Jones, PhD and owner of iPad Rehab a company that has repaired more than 10,000 devices since their founding in 2012:

If you want to understand the process of treating a wet phone better and get REAL professional advice on what to do with your liquid damaged phone read my earlier post about liquid damage repair here: 

Your phone got wet so what do you do now?

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